With recent developments in DNA testing, many people are discovering that their paternity differs from what they believed. They might find that they were adopted, conceived through a sperm donor, or conceived naturally by a different father. The revelation is fraught with emotion, both for us learning the news and for our parents, who may never have intended for us to know.
Thanks to the progress of DNA testing, you can navigate the overwhelming emotions and decisions that follow such life-changing news.
Make Peace in Your Own Way
You might also feel angry or betrayed that your parents or other loved ones didn’t share the truth with you. Try to understand their point of view, considering the cultural context. Secrecy is common in these situations, and was especially so in the past.
Research the Identity of Your Genetic Family
Helpful results can include discovering your ancestry for both emotional and medical benefits. Your genetic family tree might be publicly accessible online, and simple searches for obituaries could reveal your recent ancestors’ ages and causes of death. The latter might suggest diseases linked to your genetic makeup. And if you choose to contact your biological relatives directly, they might share detailed family medical history.
Negative outcomes mainly consist of the emotional repercussions of your discoveries. You don’t know what you’ll learn—you could find disturbing information (such as evidence of a criminal record or dangerous genetic disease) or maybe no information at all. Be prepared to work through these types of disappointments.
Decide Who You Will Tell
The decision of whom to tell is complex because it can affect both you and your family members. If your parents are still living, consider their desires. Give them time to process their feelings and attempt to find common ground about whom to tell. If you have children, consider when you’ll tell them, depending on their ages and your comfort level.
Only you can decide how to proceed if your DNA does not match what you believe. These are some very hard, life-changing decisions to make.
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